Apologies if this isn’t allowed, it’s more of a rant. Just wondering how everyone deals with the whole family asking for free photos thing.

For context, I’m a professional fashion/commercial photographer so family portraits aren’t going to help my portfolio or anything. My schedule is incredibly busy year round, even more so during the holidays, and I’m also a mother of two young kids. So if I’m not in parent mode, I’m working- often until midnight, and then I’m awake around 5:30 with the kids. I know it sounds like I’m complaining and… well, I kind of am, but want to give an accurate picture of how little time I have available to be doing free photos.

So every year, my in-laws want a family session. Not just a quick snap but like a full session. And every year I do it because they’re my in-laws and I don’t want them to think badly of me. The one time I hinted at being annoyed at this yearly request they were flabbergasted, saying “I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?” This year I feel like I might snap. I’ve been racing to meet deadlines for huge clients that I’ve worked hard to get and I keep getting sidetracked with all of these family shoots (it is also happening with friends, other relatives). It’s not just the shoot- it’s deciding a location, responding to lengthy texts about what to wear, doing the editing- you guys know. It’s never “just a few pics”.

How can I deal with this?! Do I need to just suck it up and be a nicer person? I’m just burnt out af. Help.

  • Particular-Space0@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    Communicate just how much work it is, so that they appreciate it. It’s fine to communicate to them that you feel unappreciated. It’s alright for family to want help, but it’s not ok for them to not appreciate it.

  • MrBobaFett@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    I dunno I get help from family who are mechanics, plumbers, and carpenters when I have problems. With things. Maybe they are expecting a bit too much? But in my family it’s not unusual to ask someone else in the family who is an expert in an area if they can help you. They aren’t always able to, I’ll take my car to a mechanic tho my broth-in-law will often say why didn’t you just bring it by so I could look at it with you?
    If you don’t have time, just be honest.

  • shootdrawwrite@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    Working commercial photographer here. I don’t have this problem, but maybe refer them to another photographer you would recommend. If they insist because it would be free, well that’s just a slap in the face and I would probably stare back at them in silence or change the subject.

    I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?

    “I do. It does.” Don’t prolong the interaction. Be terse. Be professional all the time: reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. It’s only awkward the first time.

    My schedule is incredibly busy.

    This sounds good to me!

  • Blestyr@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    When they ask for photos: “I’m really sorry, I have a lot of work ahead of me with many clients and I’m afraid I won’t be able to set up a photoshoot this year.” If they don’t accept this, that’s their problem.

  • coccopuffs606@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    Tell them no, you’re booked solid and don’t have time this year for freebies.

    Also, your partner should back you up; it’s their family demanding the free stuff.

  • globely@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    Pick a time (month, season, whatever) when you aren’t as busy and tell them you have these dates available if they want a session this year. And that you can’t do it during the holidays any more.

  • dogshelter@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    lol. This applies to ANY specialized service job. Doctor. Landscaper. Dog trainer. Language teacher. Lawyer.

    Family always tries to get free service. Just say sorry, no. My schedule needs to be set up for paying clients.

  • MotownMan646@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    At some point I would take at least one of them through the entire process. Show, don’t tell, what it takes to do a a shoot. Perhaps a more subtle way to show the time and effort involved.

  • BackItUpWithLinks@alien.top
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    11 months ago

    Pre-empt the request and send a “we usually have a photo shoot before the holidays but this year is crazy and I’m not going to be able to this year” before they make the request.

    You’re going to have to reinforce the ‘no’ a few times but it’ll be worth it in the end.

  • YYS770@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    A big tip on how to nicely say no - is if you talk about things AHEAD of time. People don’t realize how powerful this is…If I know a holiday is coming up, and my in laws will be around, and I already dread the X Y Z issues that will inevitably come up, then I will bring up the issue to my wife WELL AHEAD of the holiday season - a month in advance, and then mention it again a week prior.

    It is much, much easier to talk about edgy topics when we’re not currently involved in them. When you’re in the heart of the matter at hand, everything is uncomfortable and sensitive. Have a talk to them about it some time beforehand, about how you love to help however you can, family is of prime importance to you, but when it comes to professional photography, if really isn’t your thing. You can explain why, and tell them you sincerely hope they understand, that it is nothing personal, and that is all you can do. Beyond that if they make themselves hurt, that’s on them. You can’t sacrifice your well being for the sake of others, but you can hope to reconcile as best you can within reason.

  • bastardbarber1@alien.topB
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    11 months ago

    “Hey guys my schedule is super hectic at the moment so I won’t be able to do the family photo shoot like usual, here’s someone I know that could get it done” hell even pay for the shoot and consider it a Christmas gift if necessary, not fair to work yourself into the ground.

  • MistyEvening@alien.top
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    11 months ago

    When I first met my partners her family has a business and needed new portraits for their website of their office employees. Her father asked for my services and said to invoice him amount. So I did.

    Then he went any complained to my partner that I charged him and that I should be giving it to him for free because I owe him for all the invites to their family events like Christmas dinners and thanksgiving. They even bought me tickets to go to cayman with them and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

    So eventually I gave and does their photos for free whenever they ask, sometimes I feel like there should be a mutual ground in this.

    Ask yourself what have they invested in you and done for you for you to give them this service in return if that’s what matters. ( a transactional relationship)

    Or just do it since is just an annual thing and suck it up Cus “family”