Apologies if this isn’t allowed, it’s more of a rant. Just wondering how everyone deals with the whole family asking for free photos thing.
For context, I’m a professional fashion/commercial photographer so family portraits aren’t going to help my portfolio or anything. My schedule is incredibly busy year round, even more so during the holidays, and I’m also a mother of two young kids. So if I’m not in parent mode, I’m working- often until midnight, and then I’m awake around 5:30 with the kids. I know it sounds like I’m complaining and… well, I kind of am, but want to give an accurate picture of how little time I have available to be doing free photos.
So every year, my in-laws want a family session. Not just a quick snap but like a full session. And every year I do it because they’re my in-laws and I don’t want them to think badly of me. The one time I hinted at being annoyed at this yearly request they were flabbergasted, saying “I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?” This year I feel like I might snap. I’ve been racing to meet deadlines for huge clients that I’ve worked hard to get and I keep getting sidetracked with all of these family shoots (it is also happening with friends, other relatives). It’s not just the shoot- it’s deciding a location, responding to lengthy texts about what to wear, doing the editing- you guys know. It’s never “just a few pics”.
How can I deal with this?! Do I need to just suck it up and be a nicer person? I’m just burnt out af. Help.
A big tip on how to nicely say no - is if you talk about things AHEAD of time. People don’t realize how powerful this is…If I know a holiday is coming up, and my in laws will be around, and I already dread the X Y Z issues that will inevitably come up, then I will bring up the issue to my wife WELL AHEAD of the holiday season - a month in advance, and then mention it again a week prior.
It is much, much easier to talk about edgy topics when we’re not currently involved in them. When you’re in the heart of the matter at hand, everything is uncomfortable and sensitive. Have a talk to them about it some time beforehand, about how you love to help however you can, family is of prime importance to you, but when it comes to professional photography, if really isn’t your thing. You can explain why, and tell them you sincerely hope they understand, that it is nothing personal, and that is all you can do. Beyond that if they make themselves hurt, that’s on them. You can’t sacrifice your well being for the sake of others, but you can hope to reconcile as best you can within reason.